I don't have fans, but if I did, they'd be hotly anticipating this blog entry with a mixture of quivering drool and toesmacking envy as I carry on the tale of 2012's culminatory excitable hotpot of mayhem that is the Scumrun.
I'll pick up the tale as we head back north out of the madness that was Pamplona and across the subterranean lumpage filled border into France.
The sweeping roads were awesome, not the tight hairpins and forestry rally mentalism of the inbound journey but this time high speed undulating rollercoaster fun of duel carriageway smoothness made particularly sweet by the burn up we had with a couple of bmw runners through tunnels.
It was all getting particularly poetic and I was getting ensconced in the moment of the scenic flamboyance of this stretch of the journey...this all came to an end when we caught up with the next tranche of competitors who furnished us with nothing more civil and cheeky than baring rear end flesh again and again and again...
While this offered us plenty of box ticking hilarity driven footage it all became rather distressing at one point when what was on offer became a little more unsightly than mere cheek, don't misunderstand me, when surveying the point of purchase at my local marks and spencer the rustling site of baggage is most welcome...well I'm sure you understand.
It was this point that we pulled off the motorway on to a large service area containing a car park and toilets and that's it. No other cars, or people...well while it wasn't exactly gymkhana territory, a little fun on the grey stuff was had.
Andy's stomach was starting to drown out the exhaust, that was extreme, so we stopped primarily for a fuel stop but I allowed some food relief. with a mighty fine croque monsiuer which we shared due to its high expense. I'll never forget the site of Andy hacking this thing in 2 with a rusty craft knife on my bonnet followed by us both acting like it was the finest a la carte offering we've ever eaten.
The final destination for the day was nothing special really, only the largest sand dune in Europe, overlooking on one side a massive national park and on the other the atlantic ocean. Myself, along with many others on the run I think a) didn't realise places like this existed in France and b)were impressed with Ed's destination picking abilities!
1. A Cook Up...
Thus far on the rally I had yet to really unleash my culinary talents, the burner had done nothing more than tickled the underside of a tin of chilli and warmed through some H2O, and we had disposable bbq's coming out of every crevice of the car. To solve this terrible situation I turned the rear wing of the bug into a kitchen using both bbq and burner, headed over to the camp shop and bought all the meat...every variant they had...and cooked it all.
2.Sand Surfing...
This 100m high sand dune had a slope of I'm guessing 60-70 degrees and was therefore a prime hunting ground for thrill seekers. Items of surfage included their own bodies (in various states of clothing), tents and even sumo outfits. There were even some proper skiers there working their thing...this place was mad.
3.Drinking...
Ok so this is a common theme throughout of course but it seemed to be particularly robust in presence this evening. My guess is mainly because it was the last night of the event, but people didnt really hold back... Thankfully for him, Andy was nominated to take the early run in the morning and did hold back, I wish I had...
4.French girls...
There were some local 'interests' who were very forward in their communicative assistance...this ended when we tried to get them topless on camera...ah well, worth a try.
5.Arm wrestling...
Ok so we shouldn't be that surprised that 300 blokes and alcohol ended up in a full on arm wrestling contest.
6.Lasers and a 'discotheque'
Dancing was had...to major levels, the laser show the dj had going was particularly impressive...at least it seemed that way when I'd had a whole bottle of some local pernot style liquor.
Other highlights include a conversation with a burger...(which I don't remember but was recorded on the camera when I got home), getting the car stuck in the sand dune on some filming positioning folly, neon porn...(the big usa limo guys stripping their car of lighting and wearing it with proud joy) and my favourite moment of the night. a bunch of lads turning up at the entrance check in point with their garden chairs, pretending to be a car, to roleplay the whole check-in process with the event team to simply get the welcome shot... beautiful scumrunian creativity at play...
It had been a long madness filled day, but one of the finest of my scumrun history...
To be continued...law-abidingly...
